thinking...

i've been thinking hard about a lot of things lately. and i've decided that sometimes, being stubborn isn't always what it's cracked up to be. sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make the first move. it's killing you the way it is, but it might kill you to make the move and get rejected. either way, it's killing you. so you might as well get the final answer. if it's good, then hey, great. if not, it's time to (slowly) move on. i'm glad that i decided that. sometimes things really do turn out for the good. sometimes they don't. and i know that things will never be the way they once were, and right now at this moment i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. it's too early to tell. but one things for sure: it has to get better from here. but i've also learned not to say that it can't get much worse. because it can. and i had a smile tonight.