Wednesday, July 28, 2010

hanging by a moment.

life has a way of throwing things at you sometimes. things you don't expect. you can have all these dreams and plans, and then life just kind of happens along the way, and all of the sudden you realize that your life is heading in the opposite direction of where you thought you'd be, but that you're okay with the way it's going anyway.

this past summer (now that it is technically over, since i'm back in starkville, though classes haven't started yet), this was the biggest lesson for me to learn. as i sat back and realized that in may, i was content with the way that my life was, but now that it's the end of july, life did a 180, and i'm more than okay with that.

sometimes i'm scared because living these days requires so much vulnerability. i'm not good at being vulnerable. it's scary because i know that people can hurt me that way. but on the other hand, sometimes i'm worried that i'll try to guard my heart so much that i will miss out on something awesome. but i guess that is the risk that you have to take to truly enjoy life, to the fullest, every day.

but lately i've thrown caution to the wind, and i'm jumping in head first.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

we are sorry.

below is a letter from the tuscaloosa news, a march issue. i copied it because i agree with most, if not all, of the statements below. i put it here in hopes that someone that needs to read it will stumble upon the message that we aren't perfect people, but that we serve a perfect God.

feel free to ask any questions in the comments section, and if you would like to go to church with me, i attend both adaton baptist church and coaling baptist church; if you would like me to help you find another place to attend, i will do my best to assist you.


An open letter to non-Jesus followers and those hurt by the Church.

Easter is a time of confession. We can’t speak for all “The Church”, but for our part, here are some things for which we are truly sorry:

That we’ve been judgmental. Judging is God’s job, no one else’s.

That we’ve been self-righteous. While we might debate other issues, self-righteousness was something Jesus never tolerated.

That we took the life-giving message of Christ and turned it into a numbing, soul-quenching, self-centered institution interested primarily in its own maintenance and growth.

That we’ve spent million on the finest of facilities, somehow convincing ourselves that building bigger buildings equates to “success” in building the Kingdom of God.

That we have produced a vast army of “consumer Christians”, rejecting Jesus’ message to “deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me” and joining the call of “give me the best of everything or I’ll go worship elsewhere.”

That we’ve turned the all-out adventure of following Christ into a repressive, man-made-rules-filled religion.

That, on both the left and right, we’ve been more loyal to political parties than Christ.

That we, of all people, have tried to put God in a box. We’ve missed the fullness of God’s grace and caused others to do the same.

That there is often among us an anti-intellectual attitude. Jesus said we are to love God with all our minds, yet we are content with knowing more about athletic statistics than God. As Mark Noll penned, this is “the scandal of the evangelical mind”.

That Sunday morning services often carry with them an absence of acceptance, while twelve step meetings are frequently a place of brutal honesty, real community, and unconditional support.

That the Church has failed to rise up against injustice and evil, and in fact, has often corrupted our beliefs to endorse them. That we have justified our status as the most segregated body in America, both racially and socio-economically…that we have done an a lousy job in “environmental stewardship”…that we have said “love your neighbor as yourself while spending most all our resources on ourselves while billions live in poverty…and so much more.

That we have said “love the sinner and hate the sin” when, in many cases, we’ve publicly hated the sinner, and secretly enjoyed the same sin.

There is a whole lot more, but you get the idea – We’re Sorry. We have often given Jesus a bad name and harmed His plan of setting the world free through love. We ask that you not hold our failures against Him. In Christ, there really is love, hope, joy, peace, and meaning unlike anything the world has to offer. We’d also ask you to give us another chance as the Church. All over the city, people are coming together, struggling to get it right. (Safe Haven is just one among those groups). Sure we’re going to blow it sometimes, but we are genuinely trying to be the people of God we are meant to be. Find and join an authentic group of Jesus followers in worshiping, serving, and growing together this week. Help us get it right.

Repentant and Incredibly Hopeful,
The people of Safe Haven Church

you're special to me.

Monday, July 19, 2010

between goodbye and hello.

every summer i face the exact same feeling, and it usually comes right about this time of july.

my summer ends in one week. i have one week to spend with my family, with my cat, with my friends, with my boyfriend. i have one week to pack everything i need to live on my own (in my residence hall, that is). i have one week to fit in as much jet skiing, movie watching, hand holding, and last minute dates as possible. i have one week left at my internship in birmingham, one week left of commuting, one week left of practicing with hd-cameras and a 16x9 chroma key wall. one week left of doing nothing at all but chilling at my house.

but, on the other hand...

i have one week until i get to be back in starkville. one week before i begin my senior year of college, the beginning of the end, so to speak. one week before i have a stable internet connection. one week before i get to start my new job as resident adviser and plan all kinds of events and parties. one week till i'm as close to football season as you can get, without it actually being football season. one week before i get to see people i love that i haven't seen in three months. one week before i can resume my workouts at the sanderson, before i can walk the sidewalks of God's country. one week before i become fully my own person again.

so there are drawbacks on both sides, and advantages on both sides. i want to stay home, but i can't wait to get to starkville. it's the torn feeling that i get every year, one between goodbye and hello, where transitions are made.

i'm not a fan of that feeling.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

can't we just begin already?

i'm severely disappointed that there is no one awake tonight for me to talk to.
this is starting to get fun.

Friday, July 2, 2010

if it weren't for you, i'd be normal.

me: i need a brain.
c: well scarecrow, i hear they got those in oz.
me: let's take a trip then. i will trade in my heart for a brain.