disclaimer number one: i am dramatic. maybe it comes with the territory of being a girl. maybe it's just me. either way, now that i can publicly announce it, i would like to say that i will be joining the mississippi state university department of geosciences with the great plains storm chase 2011.
all dramatics from last post aside, i did get chosen to go, and though i only know one person going on the trip besides myself, i am excited beyond words. our first meeting about the trip is this week.
speaking of severe weather, i had a dream last night about monday's severe weather possibility. i dreamed that i was in class in hilbun, and the front came through sooner than expected, and we were all still in class. instead of being a supercell outbreak (which was what the models were hinting to as of thursday evening), it was a strong squall line with embedded tornadoes in the front edge of the line. one such tornado came through the msu campus area, and they made us all go to the basement instead of staying in the climate lab.
anyway, i woke up this morning and looked at some model runs for monday afternoon, since i have an assignment to follow them daily until my class monday afternoon. i was reading the discussions on the national weather service site and the spc's day 2 outlook, and they both mentioned the storms should be more linear instead of supercellular. spc also went on to say that even though there is shear vectors parallel to the main flow, the bulk of the shear is so strong that there can be spin up along the line and tornadoes embedded in the squall line as it moves through.
now, i've noticed a trend in the last few years of my life that when i dream about tornadoes (or severe weather), we usually have one soon after. it doesn't always coincide, because there have been days were the weather is hot and boring and i'll dream about a tornado outbreak. or there will be times when i'll dream it and it will happen somewhere else in the country. but today i felt like a wizard.
there's probably some psychological reason for the fact that i dream about tornadoes before they happen, like the fact that i've been up to my eyeballs researching different severe weather events today and analyzing dozens of upper air charts. but i like to think that i have magical powers.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
lessons and regrets.
i've been alone a lot in the past week and a half, and i've had way too much time to think. and if you know me, or follow my blog (whenever i write, which is hardly ever these days) then you know that when i have time to think, a post shall follow.
since being in college, i have learned that i am not a good roommate. i am not good at sharing a small space with another person (i have yet to test out the theory of apartment roommates, though i think i shall fare better there). so i figured that when i got the RA job and had a private room, that everything would automatically be better. instead, all i got were more lessons to add to the book.
i've learned that student affairs is not my cup of tea. i do not like confrontation. i would rather just smooth things over or ignore small problems until they go away or fix themselves, just to keep the peace. i like to be friends with everyone. however, with my job, this is no longer possible. i've made some enemies (go figure) along the way, and those people seem to make it their mission to make my life as miserable as possible. which bums me out immensely.
i've also learned that i need a job with set hours. and honestly, i don't mind having the duty phone and being on call for 24 hours. because at least i know that i start duty at 5 pm and as soon as the clock hits 5 pm the next day, i'm done. it's the fact that i'm never really done that gets me. i may not be on duty, but i'm still responsible for my hallway. i may have the flu and be medicated and trying to sleep at 11:30 pm, but if people are in my lobby talking so loudly i can hear their conversation in my room, then i have to get out of bed and ask them to follow the quiet hour policy. i need a job where i can go to work, be at work, and when i get off work, i can go home and not worry about being on the job until the same time the following day.
another lesson to learn was about commitment - my level of commitment to my schoolwork, my job, my friends, and myself. i had to figure out a way to balance life so that no one felt left out, but that i didn't feel overwhelmed. i failed at that first semester. i'm a little better about it this semester. but i've realized that it is more than just the idea of committing to something...that i must actually have the motivation to do something about it. for example, though my broadcasting today verses when i started is like night to day, i am still not good at it. i am graduating in nine months, and i am still not good enough to excel at a job. though i know that i need to go practice multiple times a week in our studio, i have yet to make it up there more than once a week.
and then there are the things i've committed to that i regret. i got a job this summer as a summer RA in my building. now, there are both pros and cons to this. and while the pros definitely outweighed the cons when i applied for the job, and probably still do, i regret the chance to spend my last real summer at my house being a bum. i didn't realize how homesick i was for my house and my family and just generally being in the comfort of a house until i went home for spring break. there are the little things that no one thinks of - having a regular sized refrigerator, not wearing flip flops in the shower, not having to eat in the same room that you sleep in, not looking for a parking spot, and having more than one room to hang out in - that you don't realize that you miss so much when you're on a campus all the time.
maybe it's because part of me fears that i won't have as carefree of a summer when i'm confined to a job that requires me to be around a building so much. maybe i feel like summer should consist of road trips with the windows down and good music and lots of sunshine with people you love, and i think that i won't get that experience being on a campus. i feel like i will get stuck in a monotonous rut and wish my last summer away.
part of me also regrets applying to storm chase again. i knew that i would get my hopes up, no matter what i told myself about applying. because i want it so badly, i know that i will be crushed when the final verdict comes out. the odds of me getting chosen, especially since i've already been passed up in a previous year, are very slim. even knowing this, i still applied and i still got my hopes up. and while i know that i have other options (seeing kenny chesney in concert in tuscaloosa and saving money!) it will still be a giant letdown when the email comes out. it's been so long since applications were due, that now i expect the worst.
i will end with this, since this post is long enough to make up for not posting anything but pictures since new years. the last regret i will mention is not graduating with my class this spring. though it was the best decision for me, i feel like if i would have gotten my act together early in the college ball game, i could have tested out of certain classes and gotten more classes in a smaller amount of time. also, being assigned a new advisor in my last year of college didn't help either. i don't begrudge justyn for leaving me, because he got his dream job, but it did leave me in a situation where i had to end up taking a couple of extra classes. therefore, with all the extra stuff i took that i didn't have to, there was almost no way for me to graduate this april. especially with the awful semester i had last fall, with all those hours and no time for anything else. but i'm going to miss my classmates. we suffered through physical together and did all our dynamics homework together, and they'll go off and leave me while i will still be here, the lonely meteorologist.
i'm burning out on school. it's been a long seventeen years so far (kindergarten through four years of college, that's seventeen, right?). and while i might not continue this when i'm in a better mood, i've decided that for now, it's okay to begin the countdown to graduation and the start of the next part of my life. only 263 days to go.
since being in college, i have learned that i am not a good roommate. i am not good at sharing a small space with another person (i have yet to test out the theory of apartment roommates, though i think i shall fare better there). so i figured that when i got the RA job and had a private room, that everything would automatically be better. instead, all i got were more lessons to add to the book.
i've learned that student affairs is not my cup of tea. i do not like confrontation. i would rather just smooth things over or ignore small problems until they go away or fix themselves, just to keep the peace. i like to be friends with everyone. however, with my job, this is no longer possible. i've made some enemies (go figure) along the way, and those people seem to make it their mission to make my life as miserable as possible. which bums me out immensely.
i've also learned that i need a job with set hours. and honestly, i don't mind having the duty phone and being on call for 24 hours. because at least i know that i start duty at 5 pm and as soon as the clock hits 5 pm the next day, i'm done. it's the fact that i'm never really done that gets me. i may not be on duty, but i'm still responsible for my hallway. i may have the flu and be medicated and trying to sleep at 11:30 pm, but if people are in my lobby talking so loudly i can hear their conversation in my room, then i have to get out of bed and ask them to follow the quiet hour policy. i need a job where i can go to work, be at work, and when i get off work, i can go home and not worry about being on the job until the same time the following day.
another lesson to learn was about commitment - my level of commitment to my schoolwork, my job, my friends, and myself. i had to figure out a way to balance life so that no one felt left out, but that i didn't feel overwhelmed. i failed at that first semester. i'm a little better about it this semester. but i've realized that it is more than just the idea of committing to something...that i must actually have the motivation to do something about it. for example, though my broadcasting today verses when i started is like night to day, i am still not good at it. i am graduating in nine months, and i am still not good enough to excel at a job. though i know that i need to go practice multiple times a week in our studio, i have yet to make it up there more than once a week.
and then there are the things i've committed to that i regret. i got a job this summer as a summer RA in my building. now, there are both pros and cons to this. and while the pros definitely outweighed the cons when i applied for the job, and probably still do, i regret the chance to spend my last real summer at my house being a bum. i didn't realize how homesick i was for my house and my family and just generally being in the comfort of a house until i went home for spring break. there are the little things that no one thinks of - having a regular sized refrigerator, not wearing flip flops in the shower, not having to eat in the same room that you sleep in, not looking for a parking spot, and having more than one room to hang out in - that you don't realize that you miss so much when you're on a campus all the time.
maybe it's because part of me fears that i won't have as carefree of a summer when i'm confined to a job that requires me to be around a building so much. maybe i feel like summer should consist of road trips with the windows down and good music and lots of sunshine with people you love, and i think that i won't get that experience being on a campus. i feel like i will get stuck in a monotonous rut and wish my last summer away.
part of me also regrets applying to storm chase again. i knew that i would get my hopes up, no matter what i told myself about applying. because i want it so badly, i know that i will be crushed when the final verdict comes out. the odds of me getting chosen, especially since i've already been passed up in a previous year, are very slim. even knowing this, i still applied and i still got my hopes up. and while i know that i have other options (seeing kenny chesney in concert in tuscaloosa and saving money!) it will still be a giant letdown when the email comes out. it's been so long since applications were due, that now i expect the worst.
i will end with this, since this post is long enough to make up for not posting anything but pictures since new years. the last regret i will mention is not graduating with my class this spring. though it was the best decision for me, i feel like if i would have gotten my act together early in the college ball game, i could have tested out of certain classes and gotten more classes in a smaller amount of time. also, being assigned a new advisor in my last year of college didn't help either. i don't begrudge justyn for leaving me, because he got his dream job, but it did leave me in a situation where i had to end up taking a couple of extra classes. therefore, with all the extra stuff i took that i didn't have to, there was almost no way for me to graduate this april. especially with the awful semester i had last fall, with all those hours and no time for anything else. but i'm going to miss my classmates. we suffered through physical together and did all our dynamics homework together, and they'll go off and leave me while i will still be here, the lonely meteorologist.
i'm burning out on school. it's been a long seventeen years so far (kindergarten through four years of college, that's seventeen, right?). and while i might not continue this when i'm in a better mood, i've decided that for now, it's okay to begin the countdown to graduation and the start of the next part of my life. only 263 days to go.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
fifty two fourteen.
the weekend of the turning of the new year, i went on a very epic road trip with some fabulous friends of mine to jacksonville, florida. in that town, we watched as our bulldogs crushed the wolverines. it was only the most amazing beginning to the year that has been fantastic (though only five days long so far).
check out morgan's blog post to get a summary of the awesomeness.
and here's to 2011!
check out morgan's blog post to get a summary of the awesomeness.
and here's to 2011!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
and what a flammable heart i've been given.
it's nearing the end of the year, and it's about time to do one of those "year in retrospect" kind of things. i thought that i had done one before now, but looking back, i can't find any. perhaps in the switching over to the new blog format, i decided it wasn't relevant or was too whiny or personal, and i deleted it. or maybe it was the kind of post that lived in my head too long, so that when i finally got around to writing it, no words would come and it was never written.
whatever the reason, i find myself sitting at my desk at 3am after christmas, thinking back over my last semester. i'm chatting on skype and munching on chedder cheese covered crackers (which is really messy, and keeps ending up in the floor...), reaching for what i'm trying to say.
2010. not my best year academically, and the spring semester definitely fell under worst semester of my life. summer was long, and for the most part uneventful, not full of far-away road trip adventures serving communities so different than my own. instead, i had a summer full of working on the most social nights of the week - and all for free, just to guarantee myself a better future. now that we are all growing up, summers aren't full of carefree things like fishing and four-wheeler riding just because it's pretty and not that hot outside. or tanning by the pool and diving in when you start to scorch. we all had jobs (paying or not), and we all had to coordinate schedules to find nights to hang out. then came the so-called summer romance, which lasted all the way up until the beginning of football season. fall semester, again, not so great with the academics, but is already contesting my sophomore year for best year of my life. i've met people that i don't know how i previously lived without. i still had time to hang out with my old friends. i started a new job. fell in love with my staff slash family. had more stereotypical "college experiences" in one semester than the rest of my college career.
i had to make big-girl decisions. realize that my life wasn't going exactly the way i had planned it to. push back dates and deadlines. rush to get things done. run myself exhausted with the things i had to do. worried about the future and shared my secrets. ate 4am breakfasts and stayed up all night. i learned my secret fears, but also was able to share them with people that love me, and therefore, be reassured that everything will be okay in the end. i also had the chance to sit on someone's bed and have a conversation about faith, and look through their bible (i've always believed that you can learn a ton about a person by looking through their bible).
i also realized that i have two homes now. i have my home home, but starkville is also my home. and while i love being home home, and i love my friends that are still located around here, i feel that my real life is in starkville now. there are things missing from that life, like the fact that my family isn't there, and the real comforts of a home - like a shower without flipflops and my own kitchen and bathroom, and glow in the dark stars on the ceiling - aren't there, and neither is my cat. but i feel like now, i can transition from college to real life a little easier, when the time comes.
i'm at a loss for words now, but lately, when i think about life, i marvel at how very blessed i am. i am the first to admit that in my twenty-two years, i've experienced a lot of loss, but i am also the first to tell you that really, i have nothing to complain about. so things don't always work out the way i want them to. how many times does that work out to be better in the end, anyway? things may not be perfect, but i have a fantastic family, i've never gone without necessities, and my friends are beyond what i deserve. i have no words to express how grateful i am for the things that God has given me.
these are the things that came to mind, as i took the last thirty minutes to partially ignore my skype chat and let my mind drift over the last few months of my life. for the most part, it's been amazing, and i don't regret any of it. i can only imagine what will happen in the new year, with my new copious amounts of free time and my strictly weather-only classes. i know that whatever i can think of, the next few months will exceed my wildest dreams. all i can say is that i can't wait for it to begin.
whatever the reason, i find myself sitting at my desk at 3am after christmas, thinking back over my last semester. i'm chatting on skype and munching on chedder cheese covered crackers (which is really messy, and keeps ending up in the floor...), reaching for what i'm trying to say.
2010. not my best year academically, and the spring semester definitely fell under worst semester of my life. summer was long, and for the most part uneventful, not full of far-away road trip adventures serving communities so different than my own. instead, i had a summer full of working on the most social nights of the week - and all for free, just to guarantee myself a better future. now that we are all growing up, summers aren't full of carefree things like fishing and four-wheeler riding just because it's pretty and not that hot outside. or tanning by the pool and diving in when you start to scorch. we all had jobs (paying or not), and we all had to coordinate schedules to find nights to hang out. then came the so-called summer romance, which lasted all the way up until the beginning of football season. fall semester, again, not so great with the academics, but is already contesting my sophomore year for best year of my life. i've met people that i don't know how i previously lived without. i still had time to hang out with my old friends. i started a new job. fell in love with my staff slash family. had more stereotypical "college experiences" in one semester than the rest of my college career.
i had to make big-girl decisions. realize that my life wasn't going exactly the way i had planned it to. push back dates and deadlines. rush to get things done. run myself exhausted with the things i had to do. worried about the future and shared my secrets. ate 4am breakfasts and stayed up all night. i learned my secret fears, but also was able to share them with people that love me, and therefore, be reassured that everything will be okay in the end. i also had the chance to sit on someone's bed and have a conversation about faith, and look through their bible (i've always believed that you can learn a ton about a person by looking through their bible).
i also realized that i have two homes now. i have my home home, but starkville is also my home. and while i love being home home, and i love my friends that are still located around here, i feel that my real life is in starkville now. there are things missing from that life, like the fact that my family isn't there, and the real comforts of a home - like a shower without flipflops and my own kitchen and bathroom, and glow in the dark stars on the ceiling - aren't there, and neither is my cat. but i feel like now, i can transition from college to real life a little easier, when the time comes.
i'm at a loss for words now, but lately, when i think about life, i marvel at how very blessed i am. i am the first to admit that in my twenty-two years, i've experienced a lot of loss, but i am also the first to tell you that really, i have nothing to complain about. so things don't always work out the way i want them to. how many times does that work out to be better in the end, anyway? things may not be perfect, but i have a fantastic family, i've never gone without necessities, and my friends are beyond what i deserve. i have no words to express how grateful i am for the things that God has given me.
these are the things that came to mind, as i took the last thirty minutes to partially ignore my skype chat and let my mind drift over the last few months of my life. for the most part, it's been amazing, and i don't regret any of it. i can only imagine what will happen in the new year, with my new copious amounts of free time and my strictly weather-only classes. i know that whatever i can think of, the next few months will exceed my wildest dreams. all i can say is that i can't wait for it to begin.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
the definition of family.
i stayed in starkville until midway through december. that has never happened before.
usually i am packed and ready to go before finals are done, and as soon as i can, i am in the car and on my way back home.
i think it's because starkville is just as much home now as my house. i just had no desire to leave this year. and i have a built in family, too. of course, i've always had the forest family, but now that one of us has graduated and the rest of us live in very different places and have to make time to see each other, it's not the same as a family that you live with and see every day.
that's what rice is to me. that's my family. especially over the last week, as i think back...we did everything together. we were apart to take tests and to shower and barely anything else. we even slept in the same room. and we act just like a family. we love each other even when we argue. we hang out when we don't have to. bobbie lee is like our mom, always checking up on us and telling us to be careful and safe. i don't know any other staff that is quite like ours.
i've been home about thirty-six hours or so. long enough to miss starkville. don't get me wrong, i love being here at my house and i love the holidays, but it just feels like something is missing. my other family.
and the funny thing is, is that i'm not the only one that feels like this. we've been texting each other several several times a day. not for anything in particular, but just to say something insignificant and end with an "i miss you". currently, i'm chatting with two of my family right now. we're counting down the days to our return in starkville.
next semester shall be epic, and i await the start of a new year with my other family.
usually i am packed and ready to go before finals are done, and as soon as i can, i am in the car and on my way back home.
i think it's because starkville is just as much home now as my house. i just had no desire to leave this year. and i have a built in family, too. of course, i've always had the forest family, but now that one of us has graduated and the rest of us live in very different places and have to make time to see each other, it's not the same as a family that you live with and see every day.
that's what rice is to me. that's my family. especially over the last week, as i think back...we did everything together. we were apart to take tests and to shower and barely anything else. we even slept in the same room. and we act just like a family. we love each other even when we argue. we hang out when we don't have to. bobbie lee is like our mom, always checking up on us and telling us to be careful and safe. i don't know any other staff that is quite like ours.
i've been home about thirty-six hours or so. long enough to miss starkville. don't get me wrong, i love being here at my house and i love the holidays, but it just feels like something is missing. my other family.
and the funny thing is, is that i'm not the only one that feels like this. we've been texting each other several several times a day. not for anything in particular, but just to say something insignificant and end with an "i miss you". currently, i'm chatting with two of my family right now. we're counting down the days to our return in starkville.
next semester shall be epic, and i await the start of a new year with my other family.
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