new.

so, i figured i'd post the first post of the new year on the first day of the new year, though i've waited so long that it's really the second day.

i wrapped up my year by spending four days with lovely people in gatlinburg, tennessee. the coaling baptist church student ministry annual winter retreat.



oh, gatlinburg. we'll start off with where we stayed. it was outside of gatlinburg a bit, which i don't really mind at all. we stayed at the wa-floy retreat place. it was a little...modest. the girls and boys were separated by a small distance, bigger than the beach but not too bad. our house had a tree that fell down in the front yard. we had the kitchen and the living room in our house, so that was deemed the meeting room for the trip. boys filed in and out all day. but, to speak more about the place, we had a chalkboard on the wall of the living room that said "get out", we had REDRUM on the bathroom mirror, a coffin shaped coffee table, beds with stained sheets, ladybugs everywhere, a toilet that ran forever, a leaking sink, random bathrooms, hardly any plugs, and a constantly beeping fire alarm -- in my room. the good thing was that we only had to sleep two to a room, and each room had two double beds in it.

however, this only goes to show how God works through your circumstances. we also had a beautiful "chapel in the woods" that we had sessions in. it was back away from everything else and had a little creek running beside it. the upside - our band - was amazing. no less than expected. fell in love with one of their songs. they rocked, no other way to put it. and they interacted with us during the week. because they are like us. i really like that when we get somebody who comes to lead worship and they actually hang out and get to know us, rather than someone who comes only to do what they were payed to do - play.

our speaker, joseph keenard. he was cool too. i knew he'd fit right in with us after i looked at his myspace and his general interests were "all things music. all things food." and i was right. he did. his messages weren't very long, but they were good. to the point and easy to understand. the only thing that he was pretty much wrong about is that we would hate snowboarding. there was only one that hated it, if i recall right.

then, our free time. not the focus or the purpose of the trip, but it was fun all the same. friday we spent a full day in gatlinburg, some shopped, a small group of us sat on a short brick wall outside of claire's and people watched, took pictures, and goofed off for about a total of three hours. it was great. that night we went snowboarding...awesome. i wish i could have done it more than just one day. so much fun. i think i fell less than ten times total. i got to where i could go down the hill only falling one time. great fun. i can't control the board after i pick up speed, though. saturday we went to newfoundland gap, i think...it was high on a mountain, either way, and in north carolina, i think. me, nicole, and the band hiked way up on the appalachian trail and had a snowball fight. then we ate at hard rock cafe. came back, took tons of great pictures on the couch. sunday we went into gatlinburg early and some bought swords and i ate ice cream from baskin robbins. mmm.

through all of this, i believe that God was working. He took our location, our band, our speaker, and our free time to bond us all together. i've never felt closer to some of the people in the group than i do now. especially the girls, we stayed up one night till two-ish in the morning talking about everything. He's moving us together for a reason. He's taking the words that came out of joseph and travis' mouths to shape us for the next level. He's taking the worship that the upside led us in to mold our future praise. everything about this trip happened especially to put into motion a plan that we may not know much about.

it's to make us stronger, more committed...fully, to Him. i think a lot of us have become distracted, led astray...we've allowed ourselves to sink into our everyday life and lose sight of what's really important in this world. we've become content with where we are and aren't striving to reach any further than where we already are. maybe we think i go to church. i live a pretty good life, i don't do those things i know i'm not supposed to. that's good enough, right? no. we are supposed to be leaders. to be continually expecting more of ourselves. to want to be more like Jesus. instead we're just happy to have things the way they are.

so maybe this trip was a wake up call. a call to get us prepared for the next trial we're going to face. to tell us that we aren't doing what we're supposed to be doing. it sure affected me, and i believe that it has affected others as well.

anyway, to say that it was a pretty awesome trip is an understatement, and that i think it was the perfect way to end 2006. on to 2007, full speed ahead.

reason for the season.

christmas.

christ.
más.

more christ.

bond, james bond.

seniors 2007. we may have lost by the numbers (8-6), but we still showed up and showed out. could we ask for more? sure, the refs didn't call the game like they should. yes, the juniors played dirty (but then again, so did we.) yes, they ran the clock out. but we showed class. we played a good, mostly clean game. that means so much more than the score. we need to lose the attitude and realize that we should be proud of ourselves and our teammates. go 007!

sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

i did like the hardest thing this afternoon.
it sucked, but i had to do it.
now that i've made the initial move,
i feel even more confused than i did.
but i can't change it now.
the ball's in his court.
the decision is in his hands.


i've decided that senior year is a lot about realizing who you are and standing up for what you believe in. it's about decisions and hard choices. it's about sad endings and fresh beginnings. it's about learning not to give up. it's about being you and no one else.



tomorrow just already seems like it's gonna be difficult.

friendship.

i think i really screwed up this time.
and he still won't talk to me :[

comfort.

take comfort in what you know.

upset.

this really isnt working.

i've had a pretty good couple of weeks. a pretty good month, actually.

but the past two days sucked incredibly bad.
everything that could go wrong, did.

justin cut off all his hair.
i was late to school.
i left my notes at home.
i had three tests.
one involved those notes.
left my book report and book at home.
thank goodness we ran out of time before my turn.
my teacher went absolutely psycho on us during class.

i went to go vote, and apparently i am the ONLY ONE out of the four people who registered in my class that did not get registered. therefore, dianna did not get to vote on her first time to go vote. i went down to town hall and everything. i was sooo upset. PLEASE don't try to make it better by saying "you get to vote in the presidential election though." thats in TWO YEARS. and it's not my first time. i missed that. thanks to the screwups at the courthouse. this was my major rant. it made my whole day go down the drain. i've only been looking foward to this since, oh, forever. so i went home and hid under the covers and cried for like an hour. and to top it all off, hardly anyone i was going to vote for won.

then, this.
i just really think things aren't going to go as planned.
because its just falling apart in front of me.
[and i dont think i can handle it.]

wow. i hate him so much.
but i like him so much too.



i can safely say that tuesday november 7, 2006 was one of the worst days in my whole life. and yes, this too is considered mucho importante.
here's some advice: every girl is an actress, because more often than not the smile on her face is the greatest work she's ever done. don't forget that.


in the word of my friend stanton that just sums everything up:
"ugh."