if only i could see the stars.

i have unusual sleep patterns.

for example, since the fourth of july, i have stayed awake until usually between 5:30 and 8 am, and then i sleep until 2-4 pm. generally.

it is hard to explain to people that i genuinely like to stay awake all night. it is the only time that the building is asleep, and it is quiet. i can concentrate. i don't have to worry about the phone ringing, people screaming in the lobby or knocking on my door, or random people roaming my hall. i like the peace that being awake in the middle of the night gives me.

i always have my window open. i like hearing the crickets sing all night long, and just before the sun rises to greet me, hearing the birds chirping their morning songs.

i've seen more sunrises this month than i probably have in my entire life. it makes my heart just as happy to see the light beginning to peek over the side roof of south as it does to see the pinks and oranges sink behind hathorn and cresswell. my window frames my perspective.

also, it is proving to be good practice for later on...if i get a morning show job next year, i'll have to be awake and alert at this time anyway.

my only issue with staying up all night is that the rest of the world doesn't operate on my new schedule (which would defeat the purpose, of course). but then i have phones ringing and fire alarms and people needing me and places to go and appointments to keep all day, and i end up cranky and exhausted, with only about 30% of my brain working by 5pm. then i sleep till about midnight, and the process begins again.

however, with training starting in about ten days, i have to orient myself around the world again. my heart is saddened by the loss of those nighttime hours, the cricket's song, and dawn breaking over the world.